Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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