Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
In America we eat man semen.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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