I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
