Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize