he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
