You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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