I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
