we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize