Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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