why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
