dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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