HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
