You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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