just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
