Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
These tits shall not be calmed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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