the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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