went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
