So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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