I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
