you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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