I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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