Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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