that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize