There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think I sprained my soul last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
