I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
