The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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