Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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