You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize