I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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