And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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