if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize