Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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