I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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