The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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