Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
