Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
