where am i from again
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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