How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
