Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
