i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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