question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
