In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
