Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
