it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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