just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
