Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
