Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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