He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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