Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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