I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
