Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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