Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
