All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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