I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
