Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
