he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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