wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
