Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
