I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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