I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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