when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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