The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
