so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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