I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Actions speak louder than pants.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
