if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I need to calm my uterus...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
