you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize