Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
