I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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