Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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